Vulnerability
Last week, I was supposed to have my 5-year cancer-free checkup. It’s wonderful, and there is not one day past, present, or future that I take for granted. However, I have opted to postpone my 5-year checkup at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance because of COVID-19. Nothing, not even a celebration of surviving, is more important than protecting those most vulnerable right now.
Life in quarantine is challenging, and with weeks of continued restrictions ahead, it can feel endless. In case it’s helpful to have one more reason to stay home, here’s my story of what vulnerability looks like:
I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2014 on the heels of having our second child. By the time I was seen by specialists at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, cancer had already spread to my lymph nodes.
What followed was a nearly two-year odyssey of treatments: chemo, surgery, radiation, and more chemo. It was during several rounds of Adriamycin (a.k.a. the “Red Devil”) that I landed in the emergency room twice.
My white blood cell count had dropped so low that my body was susceptible of being overwhelmed by any infection. In both cases, my fever spiked, my husband took me to the emergency room, and I was admitted to the hospital for several days while doctors worked to get the infections under control. I was in and out of consciousness, and my husband feared I wouldn’t survive, that I wouldn’t return home, and that my kids would be without a mom. That was in a world without COVID-19.
My understanding is that it’s not uncommon for oncologists to hit patients with as much chemo as they think they can handle, and then back off if the white blood cell count drops too low. It’s hard to fathom what decisions are being made right now in cancer centers around the world with a pandemic in the mix.
When I think of the people most at risk of death from COVID-19, I think of my elderly parents, aunts, uncles, neighbors and friends. I also think of all of the people undergoing treatment for major medical issues.
I spent almost two years visiting Seattle Cancer Care Alliance on a regular basis, sometimes daily. It became a home away from home, and that home was filled with people from all walks of life who were fighting for their lives, along with the people who love them and the incredible nurses and doctors helping them fight. The COVID-19 pandemic is most certainly affecting every person entering SCCA’s doors in profound and unimaginable ways. And those impacts are echoed in hospitals and treatment centers around the world.
This grand act of compassion that we are all participating in isn’t easy, especially for those in difficult households or who have lost jobs. But the fact that so many are making personal sacrifices for the health of others shows on a large scale that we do care, and that there is hope. Right now, many people are having to make the horrendous choice between undergoing lifesaving treatments or staying clear of COVID-19. I’m so grateful to everyone who is doing what they can to remove COVID-19 from the equation.
Writer: Joy Johnston
Joy Johnston is the founder of Life Wants to Live and CEO of Mojo Strategies. Her inner Public Information Officer would like to remind everyone to always refer to the Centers for Disease Control and state and local health departments for the most current and accurate information about COVID-19.