Making the Grade
Nine years of parenting led me to believe that I would be an utter failure at homeschooling. As a parent, I feel like I barely squeak by with a B- on good days. I had no hope about my ability to be a teacher in addition to parenting.
My husband and I heap love on our two kids, try to set clear boundaries, constantly give guidance, and discipline when we need to, but it’s very rare for lessons to sink in immediately. We use logic, we use loving encouragement, we cajole, we give choices, we use direct and concise instruction, we use stern voices and are consistent with consequences. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. It’s taken years to get our son to brush his teeth without us nagging him. It still doesn’t happen every day, and yet we still consider it one of our crowning achievements.
So, I had woefully low expectations of any sort of immediate success in homeschooling when Washington schools closed for the rest of the school year. Sticking to a schedule? Teaching math, reading, spelling, social studies, music and PE? Turning in homework throughout the week? Such lovely fantasies, but I knew better.
I was also dreading putting my career on the backburner in order to homeschool. I’ve worked hard to build up my business, and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. Yet, contract work is variable and we need stability right now, so as a family, we decided I was better positioned to be the primary home teacher. It was frightening to put a partial hold on my work – work where I have a modicum of control – in order to barrel headlong into a surely doomed homeschooling experience.
Fortunately, I’ve been pleasantly surprised. What’s more is that it’s given me a chance to see up close how my kids learn, where they are struggling, and what inspires them.
Our kindergartener loves a good challenge. We’ve been flying through two-digit addition, we started adding fractions, and she can now tell time on the Judy clock like a whiz. We write funny stories and word problems that usually involve cat barf or farts. Who am I to question an artist’s inspiration?
Our third grader is dyslexic and was in special reading and math groups. Since reading and writing can be really frustrating and exhausting for people with dyslexia, I decided to experiment and remove the stress of reading wherever we can. We still practice reading and writing every day, but it’s separate from the other learning. Suddenly, he’s taken off like a rocket in math. He has also shown that understands concepts in stories when asked questions verbally. He’s learning how to answer multiple choice questions correctly and he’s passing tests. I didn’t realize how much his reading challenges had made him feel defeated and hopeless. He was drowning, and he just needed a chance to prove he could be successful. The other day, I told him how proud I am of the progress he’s made. His answer? “Get used to it, Mom.”
There’s a very good chance I’ve gone rogue with teaching methods. And in no way do I blame teachers for our son’s situation. It’s simply not possible for teachers to spend the one-on-one time that I can when they have 20 or 30 students to teach. I appreciate teachers more than words can say, and even more so now that I’m trying in my own bumbling way to replicate their work at home. I’m grateful for their support and guidance with the curriculum and all they’ve done to make it possible learn remotely. I can’t wait for the day when my kids can again learn directly from the pros, and I can go back to my bailiwick.
The other day, a motorcade of teachers and school staff passed by displaying signs like “Work Hard!” “We Miss You!” and “Your Teachers Love You!” My grief burbled over and I cried like a baby, and they weren’t even from my kids’ school district.
I also would not say that things always go smoothly. There are days that feel so busy it’s hard to breathe, and I’ve lost my cool plenty of times. Trying to get at least a little bit of work done while keeping two kids focused on schoolwork sometimes makes my head explode. But as hard as homeschooling is, I’m starting to feel excited about helping my son get caught up, restoring his confidence in his own abilities, and watching both kids stretch and grow in their learning. It also feels good to do something productive when so much of life feels paralyzed by social distancing and the uncertainty of a still-spreading virus.
We’ve only been seriously tackling homeschooling for a few weeks, so it’s hard to say how these next several weeks will go. I’m looking forward to it, though. I love my kids, and I love being around them, and it’s been nice to actually have some success. I’m not sure I’m ready to upgrade my parenting grade to a B (on good days), but I’ll take any little victories I can right now.
Writer: Joy Johnston
Joy Johnston is the founder of Life Wants to Live and CEO of Mojo Strategies. Her inner Public Information Officer would like to remind everyone to always refer to the Centers for Disease Control and state and local health departments for the most current and accurate information about COVID-19.